At different points in my life, I imagined my home in different ways. When I was younger, as a perfectionist, I tried to make everything perfect. So, when my children or husband went about their daily lives—disordering the bedrooms, making dirty dishes, or leaving a mess on the countertop—I would get really upset and angry with them. But that wasn’t the environment I truly wanted for my home.
After struggling to keep everything perfect, I became more relaxed and less rigid about cleaning and organizing. But then I swung to the opposite extreme—sometimes I was so relaxed that I didn’t even want to do the basics. This led to my house often being a mess. Occasionally, I’d spend a weekend cleaning, but it was never efficient enough to keep the house consistently clean or ready to have people over.
It was better than being an angry mom; my family knew I wouldn’t constantly nag them. This created a more inviting atmosphere for them, but it wasn’t enough for inviting others into our home.
Years passed, but surprisingly, things didn’t get any easier. The big cleaning days became more overwhelming, and I kept waiting for the day when I would feel more inspired to tackle housework. Unfortunately, that inspiration never came. As the years went on, my energy levels dropped, and I found it impossible to clean the whole house in one day. My home became messier than ever, and I felt very disappointed. I started to believe that I was doomed to live in a messy house, with no other option.
Then, about a year ago, I started learning about minimalism and decluttering. I don’t think I’ll ever fully embrace minimalism or have empty shelves and closets, but I realized I could apply some of its principles to simplify my life. It took me about a year to declutter my home and establish routines to keep up with housework.
Now, I’m happy to say that I can invite friends over with just 15 minutes’ notice. And even without the notice—because things don’t have to be perfect anyway! This is exactly how I’ve always wanted my home to feel, and I really love it that way.